I need some relationship advice. I am the mother of a 3 1/2-year-old little girl whose father is not a part of our lives. I have been dating someone for a little more than a year and he is fantastic with her. I can truly tell she loves him and he loves her like his own, and on her own she started calling him daddy about four months ago. A few weeks ago he told me he thinks we should have another baby. I’ve wanted to have another baby for a little while now I just can’t decide if we should or if I’m just too scared of getting hurt again and being left alone without anyone but two kids. What should I do?
Dear Hesitant Mother,
I think it’s wonderful you are seeking advice before rushing into the decision of parenting another child. It’s often hard to go to someone for advice on situations such as these. I commend you for seeking an outsider’s opinion. I want to assure you these types of decisions don’t always have a simple solution and all of the factors must be weighed.
If you are concerned about your boyfriend leaving you, then you should consider getting married before having a child with him so you can be more certain he will be committed to you and your child(ren). You may never be sure of the fact that someone will leave you, but a ring on your finger is a symbol of unconditional love and commitment.
You already have experience with a child, so you know having a baby is a life-long commitment that requires sacrifice and dedication. Having another child can dramatically change your life. As you know, it can be wonderful at times and hard at times, but in the end you wouldn’t be able to imagine your life any other way. On the other hand, you want to be sure you can dedicate your time, money, love, support and heart to your child(ren) and keep them as a priority and No. 1 commitment.
Best of luck to you,
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