Rebecca Dickson, Reporter
Plot holes and pointless- this is what slytherins received when they read the play script of Harry Potter and The Cursed Child by J. K. Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany.
Opening up the brown Amazon box from the mail, a feeling of elation cropped up. Many avid readers had waited years for a new book to come out. Although the book was a play script, it was understood that this was the unofficial eighth Harry Potter book fanatic readers waited for. Many readers sat down on their couch, waiting for the magic to return, just like the advertisements had said.
Unfortunately, no magic came. Instead, readers found a play script equal to many poorly written fanfictions found online.
Harry Potter and The Cursed Child starts with the scene readers will remember from Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. Nineteen book years after the epilogue of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, readers are met with Harry and Ginny Potter’s children at King’s Cross Station. Waiting for the train to come, Harry and his family meet up with Ron and Hermione’s family, and “everyone enjoys (the) lameness” of Ron’s joke.
For most of the rest of Act One, things are normal. Besides some clashing between Albus Potter, Rose Potter and Harry Potter, as well as general teenage angst, there’s nothing notable to be found here besides the finding of a time turner (which according to the main series, all have been destroyed).
Soon enough, it has been found that Amos Diggory has been asking if Harry Potter can go back in time and save his son, Cedric Diggory’s life. Harry says no, and things go on as normal, until Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy- a pairing as likely as Bellatrix and Voldemort falling in love- find the time-turner and decide to go back in time in order to save Cedric Diggory’s life. They decide that they’ll travel back in time on the train the next day. In the main series, it’s shown that using a time turner to go back in time will put a witch or wizard in the exact location they left from. In this situation, going back in time would lead to almost certain death for Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy.
In Act One, scene 11, things take a turn for the worse. The Trolley Witch is found to be 190 years old- a feat even Professor Dumbledore himself was not able to reach. Then the Trolley Witch throws Pumpkin Pasties and they explode as a grenade. Then her hands turn to spikes and she starts to attempt to stab Albus Potter and his friend Scorpius Malfoy.
This leads into a dramatic series of events where Albus and Scorpius go back in time several times with a time turner which shouldn’t have existed. Throughout all of this, events which simply conflict with all details of the previous seven installment take place, which causes this script, just like life, to ultimately be pointless.
Throughout the entire script, there’s a lack of character development and plot holes. Overall, this storyline fell flat- it has a multitude of plot holes, horrible development and nothing changed at the very end of the story. J. K. Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany, slytherins await your letter in the mail with their $29.99 back as well as damages incurred for their precious time, patience and loss of childhood. Please obliviate slytherin’s minds immediately from this atrocity of a play script, so they may suffer the destruction of all that is beautiful in this world in peace. Two stars are given for general teenage angst, plot holes and impossible scenarios.
The Puyallup Post is the award-winning student news of Pierce College Puyallup in Puyallup, Washington. Copyright The Puyallup Post 2017. Twitter/Instagram @puyalluppost
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