Movie review: Skyline

Skyline

Rogue Pictures, Universal Studios

“What the heck was that?!”

That is exactly what someone seeing Skyline in theaters will hear from people behind them, in front of them and to the side of them when the movie ends.

Why would all the people in the theater be asking such a question? Could it be the vague, sketchy plot with a plethora of holes in it? Or could it be the unbelievably stupid characters played by horrible actors?

Perhaps it was the inconsistent form of the aliens, which were never actually classified as aliens. Or it might have been that empty feeling of just being scammed out of $10.50 of hard earned money.

Skyline definitely had the potential to be a cool movie. Aliens invading the earth, using strange lights to draw people out into the open, then abducting them and harvesting their brains? Any sci-fi fan would know that sounds like a classic alien invasion scenario that would set up for a great movie.

With all that potential, the movie just didn’t deliver.

The one thing producers did well with this movie was successfully getting the most money they could while expending the least amount of effort possible.

Skyline commercials advertised and re-advertised the few cool-looking scenes in the movie to trick audiences into thinking this would be another great sci-fi flick. Then, people would waste their money, expecting an awesome alien-invasion movie, only to come and see 2010’s crappiest blockbuster.

The movie was a sheer disappointment. It used great graphics to create choppy blurs and unclear action sequences so that viewers would have no true idea of what those aliens were supposed to look like, and therefore be blind to the fact that the moviemakers had no idea what they wanted the aliens to look like either.

Producers also obviously could not agree on how to end the movie, considering their miserable attempt at an open ending.

Any twists they tried to employ into the plot were highly predictable and unnecessary.

Their pitiful attempt at romance made audiences either gag or scoff, as the two main characters shared an awkward, alien goo-covered kiss while being abducted into the mother ship. (Even though all other people abducted had been unconscious.)

With or without twists, the plot sucked. There were so many holes, it barely stood. The ending didn’t even make sense. Skyline seems to be a well-advertised, low-income movie created by hung-over students with nothing better to do, parading as a sci-fi flick.

One thing I wonder about though, is the moviemakers’ motives. Why would they end the movie as if for a sequel but make it so stupid that no one would want to see another movie of that kind? There is only one explanation.

The movie was indeed made by aliens.

Those aliens have no experience making movies. They only had to make the advertising good so that once they lured audiences into the theaters, they could then assault their minds with subliminal messages. And now, through this let-down of a sci-fi film, those aliens are slowly but surely gaining control of our brains. If wasting $10.50 of your money and one and a half hours of your time while losing 30 I.Q. points does not deter you, then please, at least skip Skyline to avoid losing your brain to aliens.

I give it: one star

The Puyallup Post is the award-winning student news of Pierce College Puyallup in Puyallup, Washington. Copyright The Puyallup Post 2017. Twitter/Instagram @puyalluppost

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Movie review: Skyline

by Katie Ardmore time to read: 2 min
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