Preparation for the apocalypse

Being properly supplied in any emergency can’t only save your life, but also can be a fantastic business opportunity. Most people are helpless if they lose electricity for just a few hours, so be prepared because the apocalypse will push your survival skills to their limits. Your efforts of preparation could be rewarded with your life.

Extend your chances of survival by mentally transforming yourself into a cold-hearted survivalist. It won’t leave you with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside of you when you have to get down to the dirty work of staying alive. The first thing is that you shouldn’t waste your energy and supplies helping the weak because they won’t survive anyway. Secondly, prepare yourself to take advantage of other people’s desperation by stocking up on supplies to barter and sell for outrageous prices.

Focus on the basic supplies (food, shelter, hygienic items, medication, etc.) as well as commodities. Stock up on addictive substances such as tobacco, pain pills, alcohol, narcotics, caffeine, prescription medicine, etc. Since most pharmacies have a small allotment on how many prescriptions you can get in advance, take a little road trip down Interstate-5 to Tijuana, Mexico. There are no limits on pharmaceuticals there, plus they are super cheap. When you get your prescriptions, get them in small, believable quantities and don’t forget to have the pharmacist forge some prescription forms in case U.S. customs inspects your belongings. Most shady Mexican drug stores can sell you a “prescription” for about $10. Bring the small stock over to San Diego and head back for more. Disguise yourself as a tourist.

Washington State Emergency Management recommends having a three-day “comfort kit,” which sadly wouldn’t help much anyways. After all, we can all remember that it took a lot longer than three days to rescue all of those stranded by hurricane Katrina. So ignore the government’s advice and build your own survival kit. Remember that you will have nothing after the apocalypse, so you basically need to re-establish a society. You’ll need seeds and farming supplies, you’ll need weapons to protect your valuables, you’ll need water purification methods and you’ll need to learn how to make everything from clothing to paper after your supplies run out.

Of course, it won’t matter if you prepared or not if you’re not by your safe house when the apocalypse strikes. After all, you could be anywhere: in your house, in a neighbor’s house, at the mall, but it doesn’t matter. Always be prepared. Have an action plan for every possible location. Hide supplemental supplies in trees, holes, friend’s houses or wherever. Make sure that your main supply is secure. We are talking bullet, bomb, water and fire resistant.

Also, make sure that you’re physically prepared for the apocalypse. Gas and cars will no longer be available, so train yourself for long distance running. Keep your muscles toned and in shape for any brawls that may ensue. And for heavens sake, become a sharp shooter. Go to the shooting range as much as possible to hone your sniping skills.

The apocalypse will weed out the strong from the weak, leaving a society of super humans. It will take brains, brawn and luck to get through this thing. Hopefully these tips will help your chances of surviving. I’ll see you on the other side…maybe.

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The Puyallup Post is the award-winning student news of Pierce College Puyallup in Puyallup, Washington. Copyright The Puyallup Post 2017. Twitter/Instagram @puyalluppost

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Preparation for the apocalypse

by Genevieve Huard time to read: 2 min
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