Procrastination at its finest

Christine Nefzger

Contributing writer

Do you wait last minute for everything? Did you wait last minute to get your mom a Mother’s Day present? Or to get that thing checked out by the doctor? Do you make the choice to play Angry Birds instead of doing sit ups? Let me guess you like to call yourself a “multitasker” because you can do eight things at once. But the truth is, you’re not getting any of those things done.

If this is true, the word that would better describe you is a procrastinator. This would make you a classic procrastinating college student, don’t worry everyone is doing it. But are you doing it right?

Today I’m going to give you ten tips on how to procrastinate like a boss during finals week.

– Unless it’s the week before finals, just put this paper down right now. We all know that you have more than enough time to sit around on Facebook and Twitter rather than worrying about your finals. So just sit back and relax, you deserve it.

– Now get out your lucky pen, because if you plan on passing any of your tests luck is definitely going to need to be in your favor. Wait, you don’t have a lucky pen? Stop. Drop everything you’re doing and get to the nearest Walmart and pick out the perfect lucky pen. Really take your time on this one, because this is very important and essential to your survival of finals week. And while you’re at it you might as well get something for dinner. We don’t want you working on an empty stomach, let alone reading this paper.

– Now that you have your lucky pen let’s put it to use! Create a list of things you absolutely, positively need to get done in order to get a passing grade. Put them in order by importance depending on how much time and effort will be required from you to get a passing grade. Now rip it up, and throw that useless piece of paper in the garbage. Because, let’s be honest, we all know that you would have just lost that piece of paper anyways. So why wait for the inevitable?

– This tip is crucial to understand, you must plan to procrastinate. You must go into finals week knowing that you are going to wait till the last minute to do the bare minimum to get by. This step is going to save you loads of stress and pressure that you really just do not need in your life. If you just except it and move on, this process will be much easier.

– Give yourself a break, because you deserve it. When you finally decide to sit down and study for that final you have known about all quarter, take breaks every five to ten minutes and really relax your mind. Go out to dinner with some friends you haven’t seen since yesterday. Maybe even get caught up on your favorite television show, or even take a nap. You don’t want to stress yourself any more then you already are, so just focus on trying to get your mind off of school in any way possible.

– Find creative ways to procrastinate. For some people it’s not easy to be distracted, so I’m going to give you a few ideas. Have you ever just walked around and look at things? You would be amazed at how intricate a leaf really is! This will teach you an important life lesson, to really appreciate the little things in life. If this doesn’t work another other idea is to simply go into your room. How does your room make you feel? Maybe you should move some things around? It’s never a bad time to do some rearranging and fix the feng shui in your room; you need to feel comfortable in your surroundings if you want to get any work done.

– Make sure you talk to anyone and everyone about what you should be doing. Try and bring up how you haven’t studied for any of your finals in all of your everyday conversations. The more you talk about it, the closer you are to getting started. Plus, you never know, maybe if you complain enough someone else will be willing to write that 15-page essay you haven’t started. The less work you have to do the better.

– Make sure to get plenty of rest the night before your final. You don’t want to try and cram too much information into your brain. Your brain can only retain so much, so just sleep on it. Your rest is much more important for your health in the long run anyways. Just be sure that at least five or ten minutes before your final you skim over your notes, that is if you have any. But if not at least look at the book cover, it should give you a general idea of what information will be on the test.

– Have a positive outlook when going into finals week! Remember that there are worst things then failing a final. Hey, and you have already made it this far! At least you already graduated high school, you should be really proud you have made it to this point in your life. So just look on the bright side, you can always take the class again next quarter, it would be way easier the second time anyways. It’s always important to look at the glass half full, new opportunities are always right around the corner. So never give up hope!

– Expect the worst and move on. Now you need to expect that you have failed every test you just took and move on. Expecting the worst is what is best for you right now. This way you won’t be devastated when you see your new GPA. Also now, if by some miracle you actually passed one of your finals, you’ll be thrilled!

 

Now I want you to look back at how good of a procrastinator you have grown to be, you should be impressed with yourself. Not everyone can do what you do; you’re a one of a kind.

Now give yourself a pat on the back, and see you again next quarter!

The Puyallup Post is the award-winning student news of Pierce College Puyallup in Puyallup, Washington. Copyright The Puyallup Post 2017. Twitter/Instagram @puyalluppost

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Procrastination at its finest

by Contributing Writer time to read: 4 min
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