The Slithering Dead

Daniel Malgren
Editor-In-Chief

It’s long, slimy and irrationally gross, walked over more than the average boy, yet less nagging than the average girl.

That’s right ladies and gentlemen: slugs.

The world awaits the “Walking Dead”, but pays little heed to the slithering dread.

Pierce College has been endowed with the overwhelming phenomena of having its sidewalks refurbished in an artistic array of guts.

No doubt, many a student has found the soles of their shoes a brighter shade of yellow and green, clashing brilliantly with bleach white shoes.

Many suffer lasting trauma as the unexpected pop of the slug exploding splits the silence. “9-1-Mom” is furiously dialed in a panic as the individuals new attire erupts in a vibrant painting of abstract art.

What is it that attracts these atrocious beasts to our campus?  Could it be the luscious trees surrounding the entirety of Pierce College, the odors wafting from Lancer or the cool damp moisture eroding from Washington’s natural depression inducing skies?

Studies conducted by Slugwatch.com state that only five percent of the world’s slugs feed above ground level.  Those five percent often come to the surface because rainfall and other moisture drive them to the surface to prevent them from drowning.

In the warmer parts of the year, the presence of slugs often goes unnoticed as they remain in a cool dark habitat to prevent drying out. Some slugs may even wrap themselves in a papery structure much like a cocoon to survive the dry period.

When the cool, damp weather returns it’s the ideal time for slugs to breed and feed and with the winter months slowly clocking forward, their presence will be more prominent.

Slugs pose many inconveniences and intricacies to students on campus.  The bright side of this annual invasion is that some may find the variety of mollusks intriguing.  They come in all shapes and colors; some even have shells.  Despite popular opinion, there are those who find their gaseous slime and riveting figure appealing.

In spite of all of this, these slime-licious beings can cause various sorts of hazards to our daily life.  Morning traffic between the College Center and Art and Allied Health buildings has never been as intense as when tens of slugs decide to go on vacation across the sidewalk.  It is not an uncommon experience to find the walkway strewn with the entrails of once living slugs.

No doubt the mess is nothing short of pure joy for the custodial workers who must find the remains plastering the carpets and tiles.

In response to the concern raised, the grounds management team will be collaborating ideas on how they might decrease the amount of slugs found on campus while at the same time, causing no damage to the habitat surrounding Pierce College. Stay tuned, further updates to the slug crisis will be addressed in a later issue.

 

The Puyallup Post is the award-winning student news of Pierce College Puyallup in Puyallup, Washington. Copyright The Puyallup Post 2017. Twitter/Instagram @puyalluppost

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The Slithering Dead

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